Wet and Wild

Noah, I want you to build an ark. (Part 3)

Part 1Part 2

By D.J.

So, it turns out that the well I dug in our backyard was actually drawing water from a water main that runs under our house. (More specifically, I broke through the water main.)

There is good news here and bad news.

The good news is that I totally succeeded in digging a functioning, productive well.

The good news is also that my next-door neighbor Noah had expressed a lot of skepticism that I’d be able to dig a well, and his house is downhill from ours. So when my well started to overflow into my yard, most of the water drained into his house! It sure was poetic justice seeing the guy who two days earlier had said “D.J., you CANNOT dig a well in your yard” frantically trying to bail well water out of his basement. I dunno, Noah, I guess I CAN dig a well in my yard, can’t I?

Indoor pool

I assume this is what Noah’s basement looks like now.

The bad news is that Cate and I have to pay a gigantic fine to the DC government for digging without a permit. That means we’ve had to cancel the trip to Hawaii we’d been planning, so Cate is annoyed at me. But the way I see it, it’s basically like we already got to take a trip, but to the past, where people dug wells by hand and drew their water straight from the earth. So, you’re welcome for getting to take a vacation to the past, Cate.

Hawaiian sunset

This is the kind of lame vacation I saved us from.

Digging my own hole. (Part 1)

by D.J.

It’s been bothering me lately that whenever we do laundry, we’re just filling up the washtub with tap water from a garden hose. I like to picture myself doing laundry like my ancestors did. But it’s hard to do that when I’m uncoiling a hose and turning on a nozzle, filling the tub with water that came from some sort of water treatment plant where they scrubbed all the life out of it. I might as well be buying a couple cases of bottled water at Sam’s Club!

Map to river

So I’ve decided to make a change and start getting our water more naturally. Unfortunately, Cate thinks we live too far from the river to get our washwater there. It’s less than a half-hour walk, but Cate grew up in the suburbs so I guess that’s a big deal to her. I’d do it myself, but sometimes guys on the street mess with me, whereas with Cate they just whistle at her and ask her to smile. I swear, it’s like she lives in Disney cartoon. We should all be so lucky!

So with the river out, I feel like I’ve only got one option–I’m going to dig a well in our backyard. I bought a pickaxe and shovel at Home Depot, and I’m going to start digging this afternoon. Wish me luck!

Apparently my wife is too much of a princess to carry a tub of water from the Anacostia River every morning.