A few weeks ago, we contacted the corporate oligopoly that lies athwart the global washing machine industry like a sprawling, soapy octopus.
So far, none of them have had the courage to respond. We will keep you updated.
Attention corporate appliance baron:
Doing laundry used to be something that people did with their families and friends as a communal activity. To wash clothes, people needed only some water drawn from the river at dawn, handmade soap, and several hours of honest physical toil.
But today, thanks to companies like yours, people just dump their laundry in a machine, push a button, and forget about it. Let us say that again: they forget about it. We’ve become totally disconnected from the understanding of laundry that our ancestors had.
Don’t believe me? Think about the socks you’re wearing right now. What day were they washed? You probably don’t even know, do you? I wish there were an emoticon for “slowly shake head, exhale, and look up in frustration while thinking ‘how can I even talk to this person,’” because that’s what I’m doing right now.
It’s not too late to turn the corner and make amends. Here’s how.
- First, starting today, stop manufacturing washing machines and dryers and dismantle your factories. Use the land to build dog parks or gastropubs or something.
- Your employees will thank you – they probably can’t even look in the mirror, knowing that they’re contributing to the industrialization of life. But they still need an income, so you should put them to work telling their friends and neighbors about how they can liberate themselves from the shackles of machine laundry. (Just part-time, though, because they’ll need a lot of time to do laundry the natural way, by hand.)
- Don’t succumb to the temptation to sell through your inventory of washing machines and dryers. Every one you sell robs someone of the experience of doing laundry by hand. Dump your leftover machines in the ocean to form artificial reefs or scuba diving attractions.
In summary, you need to decide where you stand. Do you stand with your shareholders, directors, vendors, customers and consumers, all of whom would probably like you to continue making and selling appliances? Or do you stand with the small but meaningful Slow Laundry movement and its embrace of a return to a more natural way of washing clothes?
We await your reply.